Women who feel invisible

I am a woman, who has always enjoyed being a woman; now I am approaching my 61^st birthday and there is something about this milestone that caused me to reflect on how women of my age are viewed by our families, friends, employers and others in society.

Well, I have realised that quite often I feel invisible, I’ve not lost my marbles I, hold down a demanding role in Mental Health and have a small private practice.  Why approaching the age of 61 do I feel sometimes I am being categorised as old.  I am not old, inside I am 34, and I don’t actually look my age I am told (what does that mean not look my age?).   Ok some bits of me need a bit more support for my right knee,  that injury could happen to anyone.

What I have noticed though is that there tends to be 2 reactions you are even treated by others as wise and knowledgeable, experienced and educated and your opinion is sought.  Or I have noticed that you are ignored.  Is that because I am a woman of a certain age?  If I was still in my 30’s and had long flowing hair, size 8 or 10 would I be taken more seriously? 

I was quite attractive in my 30’s and 40’s and have turned a few heads, I have noticed now that I am invisible even to men of my own age bracket, and it’s been suggested that I should lose weight, I am a woman, with curves – do we need to be thin to be to be more attractive.  Do I need to be skinny to be attractive? What about my personality? Does this not count? My ability to hold a good conversation, I have a great personality and love people.  Is this not enough for our modern society?  Why do I feel patronised? Is this why I have to fight so hard for a promotion and to be listened to?  I find I am working longer and harder to prove myself. I am reflecting on whether I am doing this to prove to myself that I am still capable? I often reflect am I being oversensitive

I am sure I am not the only woman who feels and thinks this. I will be realistically working full time until I am in my early 70’s. Women over 50 are underrepresented in media and popular culture, and when they are portrayed, it’s often in an unflattering way. Why?  Women may be seen as less valuable and capable than younger people, especially in the workplace again why?  Many women struggle when they go through the menopause coping at work with hot flushes, interrupted sleep, onset of anxiety, drier skin, weight gain, dryer hair.  A general feeling of not recognising ourselves, is this why?

• Invisible Woman Syndrome

This social phenomenon describes the feeling of being unseen, overlooked, and patronised, which many women experience as they get older. 

Some things that may help women who feel invisible include: Surrounding themselves with women who love themselves, being kinder to themselves, taking more risks, and expanding their comfort zone. Invisible Woman Syndrome is a genuine phenomenon; women as young as 52 begin to feel overlooked in social situations, the workplace and in media.

I hope I continue to grow old disgracefully!